Red Bull
by AquaWolfGirl
Summary: When put to the task of holding down the fort while the others are out, Jack gives the mini-fairies Red Bull. Not the best plan of action. Wee bit of language (does one word count?), no pairing, just humor.


**This is the result of not Red Bull, unfortunately, but a chocolate bar that had regular coffee beans and espresso in it.  
No Callen, in this one. Maybe I'll publish one with him - not sure as of yet.  
I don't own anything - Dreamworks does.  
Hope you like, laugh, and review. :) **

It's about a half hour after setting his plan in motion that he realizes this was a really, really bad idea.

He'd seen Jamie with it, studying for a biology test. The can has become a constant companion of the boy during homework, and eventually he asks what it is. Jamie had looked up from his biology book and looked at him curiously.

"You've never had Red Bull?" He had asked, mouth dropping ever so slightly. Jack had tilted his head in confusion.

"Red Bull?" He had asked.

In moments he had a can in his hand, taken from Jamie's desk drawer stash. "It's really good and gives you lots of energy and makes you really hyper!" Jamie had exclaimed. Jack had worried for the floorboards beneath the bouncing boy's feet.

He had grinned, and ruffled Jamie's hair. "Thanks, Jamie. Have to go, though. Watching the mini fairies for Tooth while she goes on a top secret mission. Good luck on the bio."

The boy had groaned, but bid his goodbyes and went back to studying. Jack had flown off, inspecting the can as he flew towards the Pole.

It had taken a few distractions, bribing the elves with cookies, and a small dropper stolen from one of the yetis in order to complete his plan.

He'd tested it on Baby Tooth first.

"Open up, Baby Tooth." He held the dropper of golden liquid above her beak. She eyed it warily, before tentatively testing a drop. After smacking her lips and making a small chirp, she went back for more, eventually downing the whole dropper.

"And all we have to do is wait." Jack said perching on his staff and watching Baby Tooth fly about aimlessly.

He didn't have to wait long. Soon Baby Tooth was buzzing about enthusiastically, doing loop-dee-loops and zigzags in the air. She's fast – he blinked and she was on the other side of the room, poking her little beak into the window of a play house. She goes in the window and bursts out of the front door, flying around the globe and coming right back to him.

Jack burst out laughing. "Well, that worked better than expected." Baby Tooth did flips in place, before settling to flying around his head until she got dizzy and landed on his shoulder.

"Let's go give this to your siblings, shall we?" He asked, holding up the can.

Baby Tooth nodded and flew off to tell the other fairies of her great discovery.

Using the elves to distract the other Guardians from the kitchen, he'd given all of the baby fairies a dropper full of the energy drink. They buzzed about him, annoying the hell out of the yetis and playing 'catch me if you can' with the elves (the elves never caught them). Jack watched, chuckling at their antics.

Now, a half hour later, he's hiding in a closet somewhere on the fourth floor, his knees brought up to his chest and his staff beside him. His chest is heaving, his breath coming out in short pants.

Apparently Red Bull combined with already energetic mini-fairies results in little rainbow hued deadly flying projectiles.

He sighs, trying to catch his breath after flying through the workshop at neck-breaking speeds.

He supposes he should be thankful Tooth isn't here, off with North, Sandy and Bunny on some top secret mission that he wasn't allowed on.

Then again, he isn't exactly sure what time they'll be back. And he's stuck in a closet until then, hiding from the equivalent of three dozen fangirls on Red Bull.

He relaxes against a shelf, then hears something snap somewhere underneath his weight. "Really?" He huffs.

A can of paint falls from the shelf, narrowly missing his head and instead falling right to the floor. It cracks open and paint flies out, splattering his clothes, hair and skin a shade of vibrant pink.

He looks up at the ceiling, trying to estimate the location of the Man in the Moon. "You're getting some sort of sick pleasure out of this, aren't you?" He grumbles. As always, the moon doesn't respond, and he stands up, attempting to shake his hands free of the hot pink goop.

He grabs his staff, and lets go upon realizing he just put a pink handprint on the wood. "Great. Just great."

A quick peek out into the hallway tells him that the coast is clear for the moment, and he gingerly steps out.

Just then a yeti rounds the corner, carrying a pile of presents. Upon seeing Jack, he promptly drops them in favor of laughing at the winter spirit.

Jack glares at the yeti. "Yeah, yeah, I know."

The drama of him stalking off is ruined by the fact that he leaves a trail of pink footprints behind.

He enters the kitchens, surely a place the fairies won't look, and most of the elves stop what they're doing to laugh at him. Well, not so much laugh as roll around on the floor, pointy hats jingling as they cackle and point at him.

He chooses not to respond, instead glaring at them as he walks by.

All it takes is one underfoot elf, and his hand flying out to catch himself to create the next accident.

One of the elves, Donkle if he can remember correctly, hurries up to him. He's too angry to look down at the little red-clad elf, and instead trips directly over it.

His hand reaches for the closest thing he can find in order to prevent tripping – the edge of the counter. He misjudges and reaches too far, resulting in his fingers brushing a bowl of flour just hard enough to tip it over.

In a spectacle that the elves will chuckle about for days, both he and Donkle are on the floor and covered in white powder.

Jack glares at the elf, who squeaks and scuttles away to hide behind another group of workers.

Thankfully, flour is easier to brush off than paint (at least in the places where there's not paint **and** flour), and he manages to wipe it from his cheeks and hands. He shakes his head, running his fingers through his hair to rid it of the substance.

He's sure he looks ridiculous – a combination of blue, brown, hot pink and white. The hysterical laughing of the elves confirms this, and he glares at them.

"Shut it." He growls, as he stalks out of the kitchens.

The main area of the workshop is deserted, but he stays low just in case. Hiding behind pillars and sneaking behind yetis as he makes his way to North's office.

Alas, the Man in the Moon seems to have paid the Fates to give him the shittiest day ever.

He winces as he hears a familiar high-pitched squee, and starts sprinting as the sound of four dozen wings follows.

It's a close chase, and he almost slams one of the fairies' beaks in the door as he forces the large ice-and-wood door shut. He can hear their disappointed whimpers and see their deflating figures through the ice, and it almost breaks his heart. Almost, but not quite.

He sighs and leans against the door, eventually sliding to the floor with his legs splayed out in front of him.

It's then that he realizes that his staff is somewhere on the floor in the kitchens.

He groans, but makes no gesture to get up and get it.

Exhausted from the afternoon's events, he rests his head against the door and closes his eyes.

X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X_X

"Jack? We're back!" Tooth calls as they get off the sleigh. Bunnymund hops off, slightly dizzy and nauseous. The elves give him plenty of clearance in case he looses his carrots.

North chuckles and pats him on the back. "See? Not so bad, eh?"

Bunnymund glares at him. "We're takin' my tunnels next time."

"Guys, Jack's not answering." Tooth says, clasping her hands to her chest in worry. "Usually he meets us."

"That is strange." North frowns, moving to walk into the workshop. As soon as they enter, Tooth gasps.

"My fairies!" She flies over to the fireplace, where they're all laying on the ground, curled up with their wings against their backs. "What happened?" She demands.

Sandy pokes her, and points to the little golden images above their heads.

Immediately she coos. "They're asleep? Poor little things, Jack probably wore them all out."

"Uh, mate?" Bunnymund tugs at North's jacket. "Care to explain?"

He points to a set of footprints, a mixture of hot pink and white.

North frowns. "Do not recall those being here when we left."

The slamming of a door makes them all jump and they look to see Jack exiting North's study. His white hair is sticking up more than usual, he looks exhausted and he's covered in hot pink paint and white flour.

They gape at him; Tooth has her hands over her mouth.

He glares. "Never give mini-fairies Red Bull." He says by way of an explanation before stomping to the kitchens to retrieve his staff.

The Guardians exchange looks.

"What is this Red Bull?"

"Don't ask, mate."


End file.
